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| Mary Richardson Walker Public Domain |
The mail-order bride is a long-time favorite of historical romance novels. Something about two people who have never met marrying seems to capture the imagination.
I’m sure in reality, it was far more difficult.
The first couple I am going to write about weren’t exactly a mail-order match, but they did only meet a few times before tying the knot, and a letter did figure strongly in how they met.
Mary Richardson longed to be a missionary, but her application was denied because she was single. She considered marriage to a local man who well off, but it would mean the end of her dreams to go to the mission field.
Elkanah Walker was a shy, giant of a man who was already approved to be a missionary, but would prefer not to go alone.
And William Thayer was a friend to them both, plus a bit of a matchmaker. He wrote a letter of introduction for Elkanah and had the 6 foot 4 inch man deliver it. In it, he said:
“If you receive this line, you will receive it as an introduction of the bearer—Mr. E Walker . . .as a suitor for your heart and hand. Should he thus present himself to you, the act will not be so hasty on his part as might at first seem—he has not been wholly unacquainted with you—though personally unknown.”
Can you imagine a total stranger handing you a letter with that sentence in it?
Are you wondering what William Thayer told Elkanah about Mary? Unfortunately, Elkanah doesn’t seem to have left the extensive journals that Mary did, so that question may never be answered. Whatever it was must have been positive enough to send Elkanah on his journey to meet Mary.
The journal entry Mary wrote about this meeting seem to imply that it was awkward. She also writes, “The hand of Providence appeared so plain that I could not but feel there was something like duty about it, and yet how to go to work to feel satisfied and love him, I hardly know.”
A meeting the following day appears to have gone more smoothly, with the two of them discussing their desire to be missionaries. It appears to be in this meeting that he actually proposed. They became engaged and had around a month to get to know each other before Elkanah had to return to Maine to complete his seminary training. It seems that month was long enough for them to fall in love.
On March 5, 1838, almost a year after they were introduced by letter, they married. On March 20, they left for Oregon. They served as ministers to Native Americans in that area for several years, during which Mary gave birth to several of their seven children.
Her journals note several marital spats, though not in detail. They also note problems between the women in the mission who Mary seemed to think didn’t pull their own weight with the chores. But through it all, Mary’s love for Elkanah is clear. Elkanah’s love fore Mary is also present, though in second-hand comments, of course.
Perhaps my favorite entry is:
Wednesday, March 16, 1842. Rose about 5 o’clock, had an early breakfast, got my house work done up about 9. Baked six more loaves of bread. Mad a kettle of mush and have made out to put my clothes away and set my house in order. May the mercy of the Merciful be with me through the expected scene. Nice o’clock p. m. was delivered of a son.
Elkanah and Mary left this mission soon after the Whitman Massacre, in which several missionaries were killed. Elkanah and Mary had spent their first winter with the Whitmans and were devastated. Elkanah soon took a position as a pastor in Forest Grove. He later helped found Tualatin Academy, a high school in the state of Oregon which would eventually become Pacific University.
Elkanah died in 1877. Mary missed him intensely until she died in 1897. She left behind 5 sons, 1 daughter, 25 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren.
If you are wondering, the references I used for the majority of this post are:
Hearts West: True Stories of Mail-Order Brides on the Frontier by Chris Enss, and
Women of the West by Cathy Luchetti and Carol Olwell.
I’m sure in reality, it was far more difficult.
The first couple I am going to write about weren’t exactly a mail-order match, but they did only meet a few times before tying the knot, and a letter did figure strongly in how they met.
 |
| Image by AVFC, Deposit Photos |
Mary Richardson longed to be a missionary, but her application was denied because she was single. She considered marriage to a local man who well off, but it would mean the end of her dreams to go to the mission field.
Elkanah Walker was a shy, giant of a man who was already approved to be a missionary, but would prefer not to go alone.
And William Thayer was a friend to them both, plus a bit of a matchmaker. He wrote a letter of introduction for Elkanah and had the 6 foot 4 inch man deliver it. In it, he said:
“If you receive this line, you will receive it as an introduction of the bearer—Mr. E Walker . . .as a suitor for your heart and hand. Should he thus present himself to you, the act will not be so hasty on his part as might at first seem—he has not been wholly unacquainted with you—though personally unknown.”
 |
| Image by voronin-76, Deposit Photos |
Are you wondering what William Thayer told Elkanah about Mary? Unfortunately, Elkanah doesn’t seem to have left the extensive journals that Mary did, so that question may never be answered. Whatever it was must have been positive enough to send Elkanah on his journey to meet Mary.
The journal entry Mary wrote about this meeting seem to imply that it was awkward. She also writes, “The hand of Providence appeared so plain that I could not but feel there was something like duty about it, and yet how to go to work to feel satisfied and love him, I hardly know.”
A meeting the following day appears to have gone more smoothly, with the two of them discussing their desire to be missionaries. It appears to be in this meeting that he actually proposed. They became engaged and had around a month to get to know each other before Elkanah had to return to Maine to complete his seminary training. It seems that month was long enough for them to fall in love.
 |
| Image from everett225, Deposit Photos |
Her journals note several marital spats, though not in detail. They also note problems between the women in the mission who Mary seemed to think didn’t pull their own weight with the chores. But through it all, Mary’s love for Elkanah is clear. Elkanah’s love fore Mary is also present, though in second-hand comments, of course.
 |
| Image by psphotography, Deposit Photos |
Wednesday, March 16, 1842. Rose about 5 o’clock, had an early breakfast, got my house work done up about 9. Baked six more loaves of bread. Mad a kettle of mush and have made out to put my clothes away and set my house in order. May the mercy of the Merciful be with me through the expected scene. Nice o’clock p. m. was delivered of a son.
Elkanah and Mary left this mission soon after the Whitman Massacre, in which several missionaries were killed. Elkanah and Mary had spent their first winter with the Whitmans and were devastated. Elkanah soon took a position as a pastor in Forest Grove. He later helped found Tualatin Academy, a high school in the state of Oregon which would eventually become Pacific University.
Elkanah died in 1877. Mary missed him intensely until she died in 1897. She left behind 5 sons, 1 daughter, 25 grandchildren, and 6 great-grandchildren.
If you are wondering, the references I used for the majority of this post are:
Hearts West: True Stories of Mail-Order Brides on the Frontier by Chris Enss, and
Women of the West by Cathy Luchetti and Carol Olwell.
Martha Hutchens is a transplanted southerner who lives in Los Alamos, NM where she is surrounded by history so unbelievable it can only be true. She won the 2019 Golden Heart for Romance with Religious and Spiritual Elements. A former analytical chemist and retired homeschool mom, Martha is frequently found working on her latest knitting project when she isn’t writing.
Martha’s current novella is set in southeast Missouri during World War II. It is free to her newsletter subscribers. You can subscribe to my newsletter at my website, www.marthahutchens.com
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Thank you for posting this interesting story. I find it interesting that men would be allowed to go as missionaries if they were single, but not women.
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