Sunday, February 2, 2025

Table for Two, Please - Romance Through the Ages


Blogger: Amber Lemus


Photo By: Anh Nguyen
Pexels CC

Happy February, Everyone! This is the month of love and I've come prepared. With Valentine's Day approaching, the most common way to celebrate is with a romantic dinner for two at a nice restaurant. But was that always the romantic gesture it is today?

No. In fact, even the idea of romancing one's spouse is a relatively new one.

First, the idea of romance in marriage wasn't always a given. In many societies, marriage was more about political connections, wealth, or convenience than it was about love and romance. People needed a workmate, someone to help provide daily needs and partner together to raise a family. It wasn't until the 1700's that the idea of marrying for love rose to the forefront, and not until 1850 when love became a primary consideration. The Victorian era was truly a revolution on that front. But even during this era, Valentine's Day was a time of romantic cards, poems and even gifts, but not dinner at a restaurant.

In the 19th Century, dinner at a restaurant was something taboo and scandalous. Mostly because "French restaurants" with romantic dinners were synonymous with brothels at that time. Emily Post advised in 1923 that “It is not good form for an engaged couple to dine together in a restaurant, but it is all right for them to lunch, or have afternoon tea . . . They should take a chaperon if they motor to road-houses for meals.”

Most culinary historians agree that it was around the 1930's that taking a lady out to dinner became an acceptable way to celebrate. That's when restaurant ads and menus start to mention doing so. Culinary historian Charles Perry believes "The tradition probably arose during the Depression, when any meal out was a special occasion. Popular restaurants like Sardi's had some tables with curtains so that couples could choose to see and be seen or have an intimate meal while still enjoying the sounds of the orchestra."

Couple Dining circa 1910
Art by Lester Ralph

At some restaurants, the heavy curtains and low light in private dining areas still lent themselves to questionable conduct. Especially if the restaurant also had a back entrance where people could enter and exit discreetly, making secret affairs easier to execute.

However, by the 1960's, it seems to have become common for husbands to take their wives to dinner in order to give them a respite from their homemaking duties. And what is more romantic than that?

Today, while our gender roles are less strict than they were in the 1960's, dining out still seems to be the way to go. However, for many, the idea is less about the restaurant itself as it is a return to the place where they first met, kissed or had a realization that they wanted to marry their date. It may not be the fancy place, or expensive place. Indeed, their friends might not understand why they spend the holiday of love in such modest surroundings. Maybe they choose to explain why...or maybe they don't. After all, shared secrets are a thing of romance too.

Do you like to dine out with your partner on Valentine's Day? What makes the day special for you and your significant other? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

*****


Two-time winner of the Christian Indie Award for historical fiction, Amber Lemus inspires hearts through enthralling tales. She has a passion for travel, history, books and her Savior. This combination results in what her readers call "historical fiction at its finest".

She lives near the Ozarks in her "casita" with her prince charming. Between enjoying life as a boy mom, and spinning stories out of soap bubbles, Amber loves to connect with readers and hang out on Goodreads with other bookish peoples.

Amber is a proud member of the American Christian Fiction Writers Association. Visit her online at http://www.amberlemus.com/ and download a FREE story by subscribing to her Newsletter!

3 comments:

  1. Thank you for posting today. My husband and I don't really consider a meal out something romantic. It's a treat and respite from cooking, for sure. In our younger lives we would mark the day with a card for each other, if there was time between working and getting home to the children at the end of the day. After more than fifty Valentine's Days celebrated, just being together at home is enough for us.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by today, Connie. Congratulations on over 50 years of marriage.

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