Matchmaker, Make Me a Match

I read The Irish Matchmaker by Jennifer Deible not long ago, and it made me curious about matchmakers in history.                                                                                                                                                                                                              

One definition I found: Matchmaking is the process of pairing two people together, usually for the purpose of marriage, in which case the intermediary or matchmaker is also known as a marriage broker. Matchmaking may be done as a profession for a fee or it may be done by clergy.

This also makes me think of the Jewish matchmaker, or shadchan, who was responsible for finding suitable matches for young men and women and also acted as mediator in the negotiation of the marriage contract.

One article I read said God was the FIRST matchmaker. I can't argue with that. A lot of matchmaking has gone on throughout history. Monarchs made decisions for their subjects based on what was best for their kingdom. Queen Elizabeth I was noted for that. 

                                                                 Queen Elizabeth I

Parents looked for connections that would raise their social, political and

economic status as well as increase land holdings. This was true all around the world. Here are a few example from the the ancient world.      

           

                                                           Watercolor Painting of Chinese Wedding Ceremony

In ancient China, arranged marriages were deeply traditional. The matchmaker, usually a woman, was considered sacred. Her success was tied to the reputation and prosperity of the families she served. Her job was to bring good fortune by aligning families based on social status, compatibility and astrology. The Hindu culture also employed the use of astrology.

Roman Wedding

In ancient Rome, marriages were arranged to form alliances between powerful families giving them both political and economic advantages. These matchmakers understood the importance of lineage, wealth and influence. Their job was to secure a union that benefited not only individuals, but whole bloodlines.

                                                                   Greece Wedding

 Ancient Greece also used matchmakers, always women, who were essentially go-betweens. When parents hired a matchmaker, she approached the family of interest, then carried messages back and forth as well as sharing her opinion on the worth of the prospective mates. It could be a risky position if things didn’t go well.

                                                             Aztec Wedding Ceremony

The Aztecs also had matchmakers. One article described her as being involved from start to wedding night. After making the match she preformed the ceremony which included tying an article of the man's and woman's clothing together. At the end of the day she put them to bed.

                                                                 

                                                                Late 19th Century Couple

The book that started me on this search for information is set in a village in 1900, Ireland. There were a lot of reasons why a man or woman would hire a matchmaker. A farmer might want a wife to help him on his farm. A man might need a mother for his children. A woman might be in need of a husband for the first time or need someone to provide for her and her children. A man or woman might hire a matchmaker because they needed to broaden the number of people they had to choose from. 

A matchmaker would organize dances, picnics and walks to provide a place for people to meet. That would be especially important for young people living isolated on a farm with no way to meet anyone other than sitting in church for an hour or two once a week. As in the past, the matchmaker was mediator and negotiator until everyone was happy.


If you're interested, you can still find a matchmake many places in the world including the United States. For a large sum of money they will find you the perfect mate.

In my book, Heart’s Desire, Julia’s father betroths her to a man to cover a secret. Arranged marriages weren't typical in 1880 Boston. She is left to figure out a way to marry a man she loves rather than the one her father has chosen.

About Linda Hoover

 

Linda, a retired librarian, lives in west central Ohio with her husband and grandson. An avid reader and writer since childhood, she began her publishing career writing columns and a middle-grade serial for the South Charleston Spectator. Her desire is to entertain, but more importantly, to encourage readers with God’s faithfulness.

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