YOUNG ELEANOR

 

By Catherine Ulrich Brakefield

As a young bride, Eleanor Roosevelt never dreamt that she would someday play such a vital role in her husband’s success, her children’s lives, or her country’s growth.

The saying, “Behind a great man is a great woman,” highlights the admirable characteristics of the woman spoken of in Proverbs 31:10-31. “Virtuous, strong, and wise” are just a few attributes we could use to describe Eleanor. But this analogy would not be what Eleanor’s mother would use to describe Eleanor.

Her mother’s ideas for her eldest daughter were hardly those of a highly capable woman, as described in Proverbs 31. Her daughter preferred shadows over limelight. Staying home with a good book over partying. As a young girl, Eleanor was often withdrawn. So, what caused this change in Eleanor’s character?

Born on October 11,1884, in bustling New York City, Eleanor’s father was Elliott Roosevelt, the youngest brother of President Theodore Roosevelt. Her mother, Anna Hall Roosevelt, came from a wealthy New York family of the upper class. They had high ideals and even higher standards for their aristocratic children.

Though the oldest of her two siblings, Eleanor was timid and awkward in her demeanor. She was told that, unlike her mother, she was not a natural beauty. She would have to work hard. Her mother constantly criticized her because of her shyness. Anna desired for her daughter to follow in her footsteps, be more outgoing, like herself. Drawing attention to what her mother thought were Eleanor’s faults only caused Eleanor to become shyer and shrink further into herself.

Then tragedy barged into the regimented Roosevelt household. The year was now 1892, when Eleanor was the young age of eight years old, Anna, her mother, died of diphtheria. Then her youngest brother, Ellie, also died of diphtheria in 1894. Her father passed away a year later because of his drugs and alcohol addiction. At ten years old, Eleanor had lost both her parents and a younger sibling.

The one thing she recalls her mother spoke to her about is what happened in 1886. She was two, and her future husband, Franklin, was four. Her parents decided to visit Sara Delano and James Roosevelt in Hyde Park, New York. She and Franklin were fifth cousins once removed.

After the death of Eleanor’s parents, she and her brother moved in with her maternal grandmother, Mary Livingston Ludlow Hall.

Grandmother Hall had a trunkful of her own problems. Nine years younger than her husband, he ran a stern household and had strict rules that had to be followed relentlessly.

         Unexpectedly, her husband died. Grandmother Hall felt she was ill-equipped to face life without her domineering husband.

Eleanor soon learned she was more like her grandmother than her mother. Her grandmother had a quiet nature. She was a mild and submissive woman. Her husband, the direct opposite, had ruled her and his household with an iron hand.

Valentine, Grandmother Hall’s husband, lived off the family fortune and treated his wife like he treated his children. He devoted his energy to studying the Puritanical age. Valentine demanded complete control. He ran the family, which consisted of four daughters and two sons, with an iron hand and practiced self-denial.  Mary Hall was deeply religious; however, her faith was rooted in the God of love and joy. She had a deep appreciation of life and nature.

Her husband consistently overruled her. He told her what and when to buy food and household items. He even picked out her dresses! And when he suddenly died, fifty-year-old Mary Hall could not even manage the household budget. Anna, her daughter and Eleanor’s mother, became her anchor. She gave her mother a household budget and disciplined her rowdy siblings, who became even more rowdy after their father’s death.

After Anna’s death, Mary Hall struggled to cope with her sons, Valentine, and Edward, who had serious problems with alcohol. Now Eleanor and her brother, Hall, enter the already distressed household. Grandmother Hall had only her deep-rooted faith in God to rely upon.

Grandmother Hall’s homes were in secluded areas, often semi-barricaded. The shades were pulled tight against the sunlight, and the doors between the rooms were tightly shut. All visitors were carefully screened.

Eleanor grew to love her grandmother dearly, for she understood. She could recognize a hurting soul. The night of her grandmother’s death, Eleanor wrote in her diary, “a gentle, good woman with a great and simple faith.”

Yes, she understood her grandmother and purposed in her heart not to make the same mistakes as Grandmother Hall had. “Her willingness to be subservient to her children isolated her, and it might have been far better, for her boys at least, had she insisted on bringing more discipline into their lives simply by having a life of her own.”

Eleanor used her grandmother’s mistakes as a catalyst to ensure her own happiness. “My grandmother’s life had a considerable effect on me, for even when I was young, I determined that I would never be dependent upon my children by allowing all my interests to center on them.”

Look for part 2 of Eleanor’s story in June.

Wilted Dandelions: Rachael is ready to leave her luxurious life in Buffalo, New York, to share the gospel with the Native Americans in the Oregon Territory. But the Missionary Alliance requires its missionaries to be married. Rachael agrees to a marriage of convenience with a man she hardly knows and learns God doesn’t create coincidences—He designs possibilities. “I loved this quote… ‘I’m still such a babe in Christ. Will I ever stop seeking my desires and reasoning it is God’s will that I satisfy my own whims?’ Can you relate?” Grandaddy A.

Catherine is the award-winning author of Wilted Dandelions, Swept into Destiny, Destiny’s Whirlwind, Destiny of Heart, Waltz with Destiny and Love's Final Sunrise. She has written two pictorial history books, The Lapeer Area and Eastern Lapeer, and short stories for Guideposts Books, CrossRiver Media Group, Revell Books, Bethany House Publishers. Catherine and her husband of fifty-three years live on a ranch in Michigan and have two adult children, five grandchildren, four Arabian horses, two dogs, one cat, six chickens, and a bunny who thinks it’s a dog! See CatherineUlrichBrakefield.com for more information.

https://wams.nyhistory.org/life-story/eleanor-roosevelt/