By Catherine Ulrich Brakefield
“Someone once asked me what I regarded as the three most important requirements for happiness. My answer was: A feeling that you have been honest with yourself and those around you; a feeling that you have done the best you could both in your personal life and in your work; and the ability to love others.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
Eleanor’s
wisdom came from her experiences. From an often-chaotic childhood, an
unpredictable adolescence, and as a young adult, she was thought of as opinionated.
Suddenly and unexpectedly, she waltzed
right into a storybook love. As married people know, after a romantic wedding
comes the reality of life. Eleanor and Franklin were no different than what some
of us may have experienced: infidelity, sickness, and death. That is, minus the
publicity.
When Eleanor’s uncle, Teddy Roosevelt,
rode across Cuba with his cavalry group of Rough Riders in 1898, that opened another
world. America entered the leadership role, and the industrial age was
launched.
As I tell in Destiny’s Whirlwind,
this also brought in the Gibson Era and a significant cultural shift for the
American woman to become well-educated, independent, and capable in societal
expectations and self-expression. Eleanor loved this new lifestyle, as I wrote
in my June 15th blog.
After Eleanor’s wedding to Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1904, her life changed drastically. From balls, dinners, and tea parties to diapers, bottles, and burping babies. Eleanor’s days were now filled with caring for her family. She threw herself into her new role with zeal and a zest that even startled herself.
Eleanor never cared for social life.
As I wrote in my May 15th blog, as a young child she was shy and withdrawn.
Staying home, caring for her children was not a hardship. With her burgeoning tummy,
babies needing her attention, and little time, if any, to primp, she thought
over her options of what to do with the many social engagements needing her
presence—hire a nanny for her children, or employ a lady to fulfill her social
obligations?
Within eleven years after her marriage, Eleanor would mother a total of six children. Anna Eleanor Roosevelt (1906–1975), James Roosevelt (1907–1991), Franklin Delano Roosevelt Jr. (1909–1909, died in infancy), Elliott Roosevelt (1910–1990), Franklin Delano Roosevelt Jr. (1914–1988), John Aspinwall Roosevelt (1916–1981).
Perhaps it was due to her own desires
to be a good mother because of the lack of a caring mother in her childhood, or
simply a love for mothering, that she hired a social secretary to fulfil her outside
roles, thereby giving her more time with her children. After all, the exhausting
work of having babies and running a bustling household gave Eleanor little time
to afford her attention to the latest fashion trends.
Lucy Page Mercer Rutherfurd was seven years younger than Eleanor, petite,
perky, confident, and beautiful in her own eyes. Eleanor noticed this about her
yet liked her and felt she could help Lucy.
Lucy came from a prominent Catholic family who lived in Maryland. She had
come to Washington, D.C. looking for work. For though she was educated in
private schools, her family had very little money. Eleanor was more than
willing to help this young girl get her start. Later, in her column, “My Day”,
she would write, “For our own success to be real, it must contribute to the
success of others.”
Eleanor lovingly cared for her husband
and children and supervised the household, all the while supporting her
husband’s career. It was during this decade of her life that she committed
herself completely to her family.
She put everything aside, including her personal interests. She ended her volunteer work, her active political agenda, even some family dinners, and participating in luncheons with the
politicians’ wives.
During such an occasion, Lucy met Franklin. Lucy was very helpful and often spent her evenings performing Eleanor’s social obligations that came with Franklin’s position as the Assistant Secretary of the Navy. Eleanor was elated with her secretary and, because Lucy was always willing, placed more social responsibilities upon her. Oftentimes it proved necessary for Lucy to serve as the extra woman at some of Roosevelt’s dinner parties.
Franklin evidently approved of Eleanor’s selection of a social secretary, for it wasn’t long before a relationship blossomed that was not purely professional.
The truth slapped Eleanor in the face
one morning when she found out that her husband was having an affair with Lucy.
It was the year 1918 when Eleanor found a package of Lucy’s letters in her
husband’s luggage. What hurt was that the affair had happened right under
Eleanor’s nose, all the while she was being helpful and dedicated to both her
husband and this young girl.
Eleanor had borne Franklin six
children, one of whom had died in infancy, and her youngest, John, was only two
years old! Needless to say, she was devastated! Eleanor would later write, in “My
Day”, “You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that
you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.”
Divorce was the word only whispered behind closed doors during the early 1900s. But Eleanor uttered the word divorce in her thoughts and upon her lips repeatedly during her months of mental anguish. There seemed no way out of this adulterous situation. Her vindictive side thought, yes, divorce him; that would serve my husband right for his actions, and I’m certain that would please Lucy!
But her sensible side thought, I love him, and
what would that mean to her children’s lives, and Franklin’s political career?
That is the question every wife ask
themselves: should I divorce him or not? See September’s Blog for how Eleanor
handles her husband’s infidelities and flawed personality.
DESTINY’S WHIRLWIND: (book 2 of the Destiny Series)
A death-bed promise, a dashing Rough
Rider, the parable of the Sower take on unimaginable consequences.
A disgruntled in-law and a vindictive
lawyer place the McConnell clan in the clutches of life’s tangled web of
deception and greed. As Collina fights to keep her promise, the words of Esther
8:6 ring in her thoughts. “How can I endure to see the evil that will come to
my people?”
Destiny’s Whirlwind by
Catherine Brakefield is a beautiful inspirational love story that will reel you
in and win your heart…The story is beautifully written and filled with triumph
and heartbreak. I couldn’t put it down…” LS
Catherine is the award-winning author of Wilted Dandelions, Swept into Destiny, Destiny’s Whirlwind, Destiny of Heart, Waltz with Destiny, and Love's Final Sunrise. She has written two pictorial history books, The Lapeer Area and Eastern Lapeer, and short stories for Guideposts Books, CrossRiver Media Group, Revell Books, and Bethany House Publishers. Catherine and her husband of fifty-three years live on a ranch in Michigan and have two adult children, five grandchildren, four Arabian horses, two dogs, two cats, one bunny, and six chickens. See CatherineUlrichBrakefield.com for more information.
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