by Kimberly Keagan
August happens to be my birthday month, which naturally gives me an excellent excuse to talk about two of my favorite things: history and cake.
But what if I were celebrating my birthday in the late 19th century?
There would be no balloons ordered online, no restaurant sending me a free dessert, and certainly no Facebook reminding everyone I know that they ought to wish me a happy birthday. But a Victorian or Gilded Age birthday could still be a lovely occasion—particularly if you belonged to a comfortable middle- or upper-class family.
So, pour yourself a cup of tea and imagine that the calendar has turned back more than a century. It’s your birthday. What might the day hold?
It might start with a letter. Before greeting cards became inexpensive and plentiful, a birthday letter could be a gift in itself. Family members and friends might send affectionate wishes, poetry, religious sentiments, or reflections on the year ahead. By the later nineteenth century, commercially produced greeting cards were much more widely available, giving friends and relations another pretty way to mark the occasion.
As for presents, a birthday gift didn't necessarily have to be extravagant to be meaningful. A young woman might receive a book, a piece of jewelry, a fan, gloves, a handkerchief, or some other personal item. A gentleman might be given a book, a useful desk accessory, or something connected to one of his interests. Handmade gifts had special significance as well. An embroidered item represented hours of someone's time, which made it far more personal than simply purchasing something from a shop.
And then there were gifts between unmarried ladies and gentlemen. Victorian courtship came with rules, and an overly intimate or expensive gift could imply more than either party was prepared to admit. Something seemingly innocent—a book, a flower, a piece of music—could convey quite a lot without anyone saying anything improper at all.
What about food, you may ask? Thankfully, we don't have to abandon birthday cake when we travel back to the nineteenth century. Celebratory cakes had existed long before the Victorian period, but advances in baking ingredients, ovens, commercially produced sugar, and decorative techniques helped make increasingly elaborate cakes possible during the nineteenth century.
They wouldn't necessarily resemble the fluffy layer cakes covered in buttercream that appear at modern birthday parties. Depending upon the time and place, a celebration cake might be much denser and richer than the cakes we're accustomed to today, with fruit, spices, icing, or decorative sugar work.
As the nineteenth century progressed, children's birthday celebrations became increasingly recognizable to modern eyes. A well-to-do family might invite young friends and cousins for an afternoon of games, refreshments, and sweets. Parlor games, riddles, charades, music, and supervised outdoor amusements could all be part of the entertainment. Late-century magazines and household publications offered mothers suggestions for children's parties, decorations, refreshments, and amusements.
Across the pond, America's wealthiest families weren't exactly known for restraint. A birthday could provide yet another reason to entertain, particularly for a prominent family with a daughter moving through society. Luncheons, dinners, teas, receptions, and dances could all mark special occasions. For a young woman already making her social debut, a birthday during the season might easily become part of a much larger whirl of invitations and entertainments.
Of course, the grandest celebrations belonged to a very small portion of society. For most people, birthdays remained simpler family occasions.
As for me, I think I'd happily borrow a few Victorian birthday traditions. Give me a handwritten letter, a beautiful old book, a walk through the garden, and a slice of cake shared with the people I love.
Although I reserve the right to insist upon modern cake. Coconut is my favorite! Here's the one my daughter made me for my birthday ... from scratch!
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