The President of the United States must host many functions, and social events go smoother if he has a gracious hostess at his side.
In addition to being the wife and mother of the family, the First Lady is expected to decorate with good taste and to entertain flawlessly. In modern times, she is also expected to give support to her husband through public appearances and to support charitable or social causes.
But what’s a chief executive to do if he’s a widower—or even worse, a bachelor?
What happens when there’s no First Lady?
He asks someone else to fill that role, of course, usually a relative, but sometimes a close friend.
Thomas Jefferson was the first president to have that problem. He was widowed nineteen years before he took the oath of office as president. His marriage had produced six children, only two of whom—Martha and Mary—lived to adulthood.
Martha, known as Patsy, red-haired like her father, married Thomas Mann Randolph, Jr.
Martha Jefferson Randolph |
Molly died in 1804, but Patsy returned to the White House the following year to act as hostess. Her eighth child, James Madison Randolph was the first child to be born there.
When his daughters were not available to help him out, President Jefferson relied on Dolley Madison, whose husband was at that time Secretary of State, to act as hostess at White House functions. This was good practice for Dolley’s later duties as First Lady.
Emily Donelson |
Andrew Jackson’s wife, Rachel, died a few months before her husband took office in 1829. While he was in the White House, Emily Donelson, the wife of Rachel’s nephew Andrew Donelson, served as hostess in the executive mansion. Emily had one child at the time of the inauguration and gave birth to three more in the White House.
Angelica Singleton Van Buren |
Martin Van Buren was a widower with four sons when he became president. After his son Abraham married Angelica Singleton, she began receiving guests at White House functions with her father-in-law.
Harriet Lane |
James Buchanan became president at age 65, and he was a bachelor. His niece and legal ward, Harriet Lane, took over the duties of First Lady at the age of 26. Lovely, clever, and poised, she made a wonderful hostess in the pre-Civil War years.
Chester A. Arthur, who took office in 1881, had been widowed a year before. He did not have an official hostess, but his younger sister, Mary Arthur McElroy, went with him to Washington to take care of his young daughter, Nellie, and her own two daughters. Mary sometimes stood in receiving lines with her brother, but she was never in the spotlight. The Arthur administration was the only one that never had a First Lady or a designated surrogate.
Of course, if you are a bachelor president, as was Grover Cleveland, you can take a more creative way to fill the vacancy and marry a woman who will become the First Lady.
When he was first elected, Cleveland’s younger sister Rose acted as his hostess. But when Cleveland became the first—and only—president to be married in the White House, his bride took over her duties with alacrity. Frances Folsom Cleveland was 21, and Grover was 48 when they married.
Frances Folsom Cleveland |
This is only a glimpse of some women who performed social duties at the White House when there was no official First Lady. There is much more to their lives, of course, but today we honor them for standing in the gap.
Leave a comment and your contact information for a chance to win one of Susan’s historical novels: Lady Anne’s Quest, A Lady in the Making, Love Finds You in Prince Edward Island, or The Outlaw Takes a Bride. The winner may choose either an e-book, a paperback, or a large print, hardcover copy of one of these books, or an audio book of The Outlaw Takes a Bride. If more than twenty enter, two winners will be chosen. The drawing will be held Aug. 29.
Susan Page Davis is the author of more than sixty published novels. She’s always interested in the unusual happenings of the past. She’s a two-time winner of the Inspirational Readers’ Choice Award, and also a winner of the Carol Award and the Will Rogers Medallion, and a finalist in the WILLA Awards and the More Than Magic Contest. Visit her website at: www.susanpagedavis.com .
A position that does require a hostess. I hadn't thought about it before. Wonderful thank you.
ReplyDeletemarypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Thanks, Mary! I'm afraid I personally wouldn't be very good at it!
DeleteThank you, Susan, for your very interesting post. Women wear many hats, don't they?
ReplyDeletemauback55 at gmail dot com
Yes, and I think more is expected of them now than in the past.
DeleteSusan, this is a very interesting post. I'd never thought about there being a need for a substitute First Lady.
ReplyDeleteYou would think nowadays that a man could host his events alone, but I suppose that would be adding more stress to the President's job! I think the First Ladies do more than we realize.
DeleteI loved reading this post. I hadn't realized that so many Presidents faced the dilemma of no first lady. I also think that being First Lady takes a special person and having "thick skin" is very important!
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan!
Connie
cps1950 at gmail dot com
Great observation, Connie! Thanks for coming by!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! I like historical fiction, so I'm hoping to win a book.
ReplyDeletesusanlulu@yahoo.com
Susan in NC
Thanks. I find things are usually not quite the way I thought they were when I start digging into history!
DeleteVery interesting information - certainly something I had never thought about, since there have only been married presidents in the years I can remember. I would love to win a book and thanks for the giveaway!
ReplyDeletebettimace at gmail dot com
Good point, Betti! I am also wondering if another president will ever get married during his term.
DeleteThank you for this post, it was really interesting. I didn't realize that there were that many widower presidents. Thank your for the chance to win a copy of one of your books.
ReplyDeletesusanmsj at msn dot com
Yeah, a lot of those families had seen tragedy. Glad you stopped by, Susan.
DeleteI love fascinating historical tidbits like this. :) Thanks for sharing them with us and thank you for the giveaway!
ReplyDeleteWriter_weaverATyahooDOTcom
You're welcome, Anna.
DeleteI always enjoy learning things when authors like yourself delve into history. I never knew there were so many that needed someone. Interesting how they chose someone to do it and a president that married while there and to one so young. thanks for sharing all these lovely tidbits.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the great stories that you write for us to enjoy too.
Paula O(kyflo130@yahoo.com)
I agree, Paula. Frances Folsom seemed very happy in her marriage from what I have read. You can always find more about these fascinating ladies online if you want to read more.
DeleteHow very interesting to read about Presidents without wives to be First Ladies. I enjoyed it as I've read quite a bit about First Ladies but never read this topic of a substitute First Lady. I also really enjoy reading your books, Susan. thank you! sm wileygreeen1(at)yahoo(dot)com
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Sharon. It is an intriguing subject to me too.
DeleteVery interesting, as always! Thanks for the info. I'd love to read your book, Love Finds You on Prince Edward Island!
ReplyDeletebcrug(at)myfairpoint(dot)net
Thanks, Connie! If the random picker likes you, your wish will come true. Happy reading, no matter what happens!
DeleteI'm so glad I found this blog! Thank you for this great post! I'd love to read many (and win one) of your books, Susan!
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Danielle, and thank you for your kind words. If you want to be entered in the drawing, please leave your contact information so we can let you know if you win. Most people use the susan (at) whatever (dot) com format for security.
DeleteI could never do that! I consider myself a horrible host, lol. I give these women much credit for their hard work!
ReplyDeleteLattebooksAThotmailDOTcom
Some of them were just amazing! I could have written a whole blog about Harriet Lane or Frances Folsom Cleveland.
DeleteI'd heard about a few of these stand-in first ladies, but not most of them. A lot is required of a First Lady, just because her husband is president. I guess in a way, it's kind of like being a pastor's wife, though with a much larger spotlight.
ReplyDeleteI've read several of your books so it would be delightful to win one! Thanks for this post and the chance to win a book.
pmkellogg56[at]gmail[dot]com
Thanks, Pam, and I think you're right. I am not fond of the spotlight, but I admire these women.
DeleteWhat a fascinating post. It just goes to show that all through history women stepped whenever needed, weather it was helping a wagon train on the trail in Oregon or stepping in as first lady this once again proves as women we are very strong. I have always been fascinated by historical research and reading and would love to read one of Susan Page Davis's books because the ones I've read have been fabulous !
ReplyDeleteDeanne Patterson
Cnnamongirl at aol dot com
That is so true, Deanne: throughout our history, we see women doing what needs to be done! I hope these ladies enjoyed doing their duty.
DeleteThank you Susan for sharing these interesting historical facts with us. I never knew that so many Presidents didnt have an actual wife as First Lady and how wonderful of all these women who filled in the role of First Lady so graciously.
ReplyDeletemarypopmom (at) yahoo (dot) com
You're welcome, Maryann. Not so many widows and bachelors in modern times, but it could happen again.
DeleteInteresting on when there was a president who did not have a wife or who's wife had died before he became president. Thanks for posting the information. kamundsen44(at)yahoo(dot)com.
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by, Kim!
DeleteVery interesting! I knew we have had a bachelor or two as President but hadn't heard about the ones who were widowed before taking office.
ReplyDeletepattymh2000(at)yahoo(dot)com
Yes, nowadays it seems they all have a smiling wife at their side.
DeleteLove this fascinating post, Susan! Thank you for sharing a bit about these amazing women.
ReplyDeletetexaggs2000 at gmail dot com
You're welcome, Britney! I learned a lot in preparing it.
DeleteAnd the winner is Mary Preston, who chose The Outlaw Takes a Bride. There were 17 entries with contact information. Thank you all for participating!
ReplyDelete