Mail-Order Bride from Russia

image by Vitaly_Stasov, deposit photos

by Martha Hutchens

The whole point of a mail-order bride is that the prospective bride and groom don’t live near each other. However, we normally think of it being a woman in the eastern United States joining a man somewhere in the west. Sometimes, the bride travelled a much greater distance.

Such was the case for Rachel Bella Kahn. She travelled from Chvedkifka, Russia in the 1890s.

Abraham Calof wrote an advertisement for a bride to join him in North Dakota. He required a woman of strong character, and most importantly, of the Jewish faith. When his first choice decided against traveling so far from family, he asked his sister to interview Rachel Kahn.

Rachel Kahn certainly had less concerns about leaving her family. Her father and stepmother were neglectful and abusive. Her job as a maid in her aunt’s mansion involved long hours and little pay. When she almost escaped through a love match with the local butcher, her family blocked the marriage because his occupation made him “inferior.” At seventeen, Rachel had already seen her share of heartbreak.

Then she received word that Abraham Calof liked what she wrote about herself. They exchanged pictures and liked each other’s looks. Abraham commissioned his oldest sister, Chaya, to interview his prospective bride. The interview included several tests, but Rachel won Chaya over when she did not become frustrated or angry while untangling a ball of knotted yarn.

Rachel traveled by train to Hamburg, Germany, then by ship to Ellis Island. Like many of the immigrants, she was desperately seasick. She forgot the misery when she saw Abraham waiting for her when she arrived in New York City. “There’s my beloved,” she said.

They traveled by train to North Dakota, where Abraham planned to file for a homestead near his family.

image by ehrlif, deposit photos

I think we forget just how desperate life on the frontier could be. Rachel probably thought she knew what she was getting into, but her first sight of her husband’s family shocked her. They were dirty, dressed in rags, and the men were barefoot. They she arrived at her new home. It was a 12 by 14 foot shack with a dirt floor, a bed, a table, and a stove. Since the couple was not married yet, they would be sharing this palace with Abraham’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, and two children.

Abraham understood her disappointment, and took her on long walks where he reassured her that this was a temporary situation. Eventually they would be own their own and happy.

In November of 1894, the couple was married. However, to conserve their limited fuel, the couple would be forced to continue living several other people, as well as livestock.

Abraham worked long hours in the field, and Rachel worked equally hard providing food for the two of them as well as for the children that they had. After five years of marriage, Abraham had enough money to build a larger home for their family, which included four children at the time.

By 1900, the homestead appeared to be prospering, with a bumper wheat crop in the field. And then hail came. Their crop was destroyed and their house was flooded. However, they persevered. 

image by IgorStrukov, deposit photos

By 1910, their homestead had grown much larger than its original 160 acres. They had also expanded from farming to breaking wild horses. They had earned the respect of their neighbors by their tenacity and their dedication to their Jewish faith. Abraham helped new farmers in the area. They were both instrumental in founding the first school in their region. Their efforts were recognized by two presidents, William Taft and Woodrow Wilson.

They spent twenty-three years on their North Dakota farm before moving to St. Paul, Minnesota. Abraham worked in dry goods there. Rachel began writing her life story, which she described as “a life worth living.”

image by LiliGraphie, deposit photos

The Calofs were married for more than fifty years. They had nine children. They both died of natural causes in their late seventies.

I think Abraham and Rachel exemplify what we think of as a mail-order marriage.

If you are enjoying this mail-order bride stories, check out Hearts West: True Stires of Mail-Order Brides on the Frontier by Chris Enss.

Martha Hutchens is a transplanted southerner who lives in Los Alamos, NM where she is surrounded by history so unbelievable it can only be true. She won the 2019 Golden Heart for Romance with Religious and Spiritual Elements. A former analytical chemist and retired homeschool mom, Martha is frequently found working on her latest knitting project when she isn’t writing

Martha can frequently be found at the Sunrise Historical Hearts Facebook page, along with other Sunrise authors. If you would like to find out about new Sunrise releases (including a mail-order bride series), and meet other historical authors, click here to join the fun.