Victorian Calling Cards

Hello from Carla Stewart, who is glad that spring is trying to emerge and we are able to bustle about once again and maybe call on a few friends we haven't seen in awhile.

Alas, we rarely do that sort of thing anymore, but rather "meet up" somewhere or "do lunch". Not so for the Victorians both in Europe and in the States as well. People called on each other, stopping in to visit on "At Home" days or just drop a card with an invitation to tea or to extend best wishes for whatever the season might be. And as was frequently the case, the Victorians didn't do things halfway, but elevated it to an art form. And so emerged the calling or visiting card.

Creative commons presented originally by Circuitous Root

Calling cards first appeared in China in the 15th century but didn't make their western debut until the French introduced them in the early 1800s.The custom spread quickly throughout Europe and became quite popular among the "well-to-do" in New England throughout the latter half of the nineteenth century. Syles ranged from simple embossing to hand calligraphy, fringed edges, hidden name cards where the bearers name is imprinted below a Victorian scrap at one edge, photograph cards, gelatine cards which went through a special process and were quite fragile, patriotic cards especially after the Civil War in the US, and every sort of fancy bordered and embellished cards you could imagine. A line or two of poetry wasn't uncommon along with the artwork. Hundreds of thousands of cards were printed from 1800 through the 1890s.

 

Creative commons presented originally by Circutous Root

Old Design Shop free image

Old Design Shop free image

Old Design Shop free image

Both men and women used calling cards. The lady's version was larger and often fancier than the man's card which needed to fit in the breast pocket of his jacket, and cards from the Victorian period were larger than those of the preceding Regency era. Card holders for women became fashionable and were often of filigreed sterling, mother of pearl, tortoiseshell, ivory or velvet. Because cards were often delivered only to a servant, they were placed in special receivers or trays on a table in the foyer. Both fancy glass and sterling receivers were common.

Occasions for using a calling card:

• Ladies made calls and delivered her cards immediately upon moving to a town. Local women could choose to invite the newcomer in when she delivered the card or offer her own card to extend an offer of wishing to further the friendship. If no card was offered, this was considered a rejection.

• Formal calls to offer congratulations or condolensces. Good manners dictated that the call be made within a week of the event, whether an engagement, marriage, addition to the family, or death or illness.

• By the mid-1800s, women could leave both their own card and that of her husband, always leaving two of his - one for the master of the house and the other for his wife.

• Taking leave. For extended trips out of town, it was considered good manners to let friends know of your intended absense.

• Invitations to any sort of occasion, although formal occasions usually had their own invitation that was either hand delivered or posted in the mail.

• Offer of courtship - for gentlemen to request getting to know an eligible woman better.

Presentation of the card could deliver special messages by turning of one corner or another to relay the message:
 

• A folded top left corner meant the visitor had come in person. If unfolded, the card was delivered by a servant.

• A folded bottom left corner meant farewell.

• A folded top right corner offered congratulations.

• A folded bottom right corner expressed condolence.

• A black band around the edge signified the carrier of the card was in mourning.

Like many customs, the folding of the corners fell out of fashion by the 1900s.

Rules for visiting:

• Formal calls following a celebratory event or a condolence made within a week of the event.

• Ceremonial visits (leaving a card only) between 3 and 4 pm the day after a ball. For a dinner party, such visit acceptable within a day or two, and after a small party withing a week.

• Ceremonial calls were made between three and four in the afternoon. Semi-ceremonial calls between four and five, and intimate calls between five and six pm.

• No calls on Sunday as these days were reserved for family and close friends.

• Visits were short, twenty to thirty minutes. If another caller arrived during a visit, the first caller left withing a moment or two.

• The decision of whether to receive a caller is up to the master or mistress of the house.

Men's Calling Cards:

Generally, a gentleman's card was simpler in design with just his name and perhaps an address. A young man didn't preface his name with "Mr." but men in the military could put their rank and physicians could use a professional title. All other honorary titles were verboten. Typically, gentlement inscribed initials on the card that gave the nature of the visit.

p. f. – congratulations (pour féliciter)


p. r. – expressing one’s thanks (pour remercier)


p. c. – mourning expression (pour condoléance)


p. f. N. A. – Happy New Year (pour feliciter Nouvel An)


p. p. c. – meaning to take leave (pour prendre congé)


p. p. – if you want to be introduced to anybody, send your visiting card (pour présenter)


In the US, calling cards were still used until the 1920s although not as extensively as in the nineteenth century. The "death" of the calling card altogether came when Lou Hoover, President Hoover's wife and an activist and promoter in her own right, found the custom time-consuming and old-fashioned. She disliked having to leave calling cards on formal social visits to other spouses of political figures in Washington. She prevailed upon her fellow Cabinet wives to agree to end the custom. Thus ended the calling card tradition.


We've come full circle, though in the twenty-first century where our "calling" cards are now business cards. They're personal and say a lot about the presenter: who she is, her business, how to contact her. Just as the visiting cards of earlier times, both men and women express themselves via the "biz" card.


Do you have a business card? What does it say about you?

Carla Stewart is the award-winning author of five novels. With a passion for times gone by, it is her desire to take readers back to that warm, familiar place in their hearts called “home.” Her newest release is The Hatmaker's Heart. In New York City’s Jazz Age, a naïve, but talented young hat designer must weigh the cost of success when the rekindled love with her childhood sweetheart is lost and her integrity in the cutthroat fashion world is tested. Learn more about Carla at www.carlastewart.com

2015 Oklahoma Book Award Finalist

Say It With Flowers

A belated Valentine greeting from Carla Stewart! Hope that this month of sharing love has been good to you.

I couldn't resist using this popular florist's slogan as the title for this post. As if this is a modern idea. Flowers have been significant in their message since Biblical times. Jesus said, "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin; and yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Lilies mean beauty - glorious beauty. And as the white Madonna lily grew wild in northern Palestine, it's not by coincidence that its appearance each spring has become our traditional symbol of Easter. It's modern definition is majesty, a fitting image of the Resurrection. 

Lilies - photo courtesy of Wiki Commons

The Christmas season brings a preponderance of poinsettias. Their meaning? Be of good cheer. When I read this, I though of the angels appearing to the shepherds more than two thousand years ago with their greeting: "Behold, I bring good tidings of great joy. For unto you is born..." I'm not sure if angels carried poinsettias, but I love that today, we can still be of good cheer as we celebrate the birth of Christ.

My poinsettia this past Christmas

 

 And of course, roses are the symbol of love. Jesus was called the Rose of Sharon, symbolic of his message of love. And each color of rose has its own meaning. White: innocence. Pink: grace. Yellow: friendship or infidelity (according to which reference you use). Coral: desire. Red: love. Dark Red or Crimson: mourning. Red and white together: Unity.

Red Rose says true love 

No era was more attuned to the language of flowers than those who lived in England during Queen Victoria's rein (1837 to 1901). It was as important to people as being "well dressed." Flowers adorned almost everything - hair, clothing, jewelry, gowns, men's lapels, home decorations, including china, and stationery. The scent of a particular flower or a scented handkerchief sent it own unique message. 

Flowers played a prominent role in courtship as well. A young man could either please or displease a lady with his gift of flowers, not only the type of flowers, but also the size of the bouquet or what was in the grouping. In this chaste age, flowers could convey meanings that weren't proper to be spoken. Even the hand with which the flowers were presented had a meaning. Offering a flower with the right hand meant "yes" - the left hand "no."

With such emphasis on flowers and their meanings, dictionaries were written to explain it all, and they were particularly used by lovers. A quandary could develop if the two lovers consulted different dictionaries that might have different connotations which could give rise to the potential for a major misunderstanding! Getting accurate information could make or break a relationship.

Bouquets, also called tussie-mussies, were quite popular in the Victorian era. The small bunch of flowers were wrapped in a lace doily and tied with ribbon. Sometimes they were presented in a decorative cone. To the Victorians, the contents of a tussie-mussie could be very telling. An arrangement with forget-me-nots, for example, suggested true love, while yellow roses symbolized friendship. Lilies stood for purity, snowdrops for hope, and yew for sorrow. Lemon balm and red poppies symbolized empathy and consolation, while ivy, lavender, and myrtle stood for loyalty and devotion.  

The nose-gay bouquet, aka Tussie-Mussie - Photo courtesy of Wiki Commons

Tussie-mussies (also known as nosegays) weren't just for males to present. Women often exchanged such bouquets with their friends and loved ones, and the tradition of carrying a tussie-mussie at a wedding arose in the 1800s. Brides usually carried the ornamental bouquet in a silver or enameled cone. Antique cones sometimes sell for high sums in stores, and modern versions can also be found in home design stores, especially those which stock Victoriana.

Even today, the gift of flowers can convey a sentiment that might be hard to express. We send bouquets to the bereaved and husbands still send the message of love with long-stemmed red roses. But why not also send a cheery vase of posies that says "Congratulations!" or "I want to be your friend" or "You are special." And flowers make wonderful thank-you gifts. So the next time you want to make someone's day memorable, why not "Say it with flowers!" 

A bouquet of fresh daisies (innocence)

 Here are a couple of resources that give the meanings of flowers:
Language of Flowers
Vanessa Diffenbaugh's Flower Dictionary. In her lovely book The Language of Flowers, she ran into the same issues with different meanings as the Victorian times people did. In this dictionary, her goal was to create a usable, relevant dictionary for modern readers.

What is your favorite flower? Does it have a story behind it. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Carla Stewart is the award-winning author of five novels. With a passion for times gone by, it is her desire to take readers back to that warm, familiar place in their hearts called “home.” Her newest release is The Hatmaker's Heart. In New York City’s Jazz Age, a naïve, but talented young hat designer must weigh the cost of success when the rekindled love with her childhood sweetheart is lost and her integrity in the cutthroat fashion world is tested.

Learn more about Carla at www.carlastewart.com