Monday, June 9, 2014

Snakes, and Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails....

By Tiffany Amber Stockton

There is something special about little boys and I love including them in my books. They are just such deliciously awful little scoundrels. I recently ran across a book called Up To No Good in which a collection of perfectly respectable men reminisced about some of their boyhood escapades.

One man recalled his grandmother offering to pay him a dollar for every crow he could kill. (Their cawing was disturbing her afternoon naps.) After hours of unsuccessful attempts, he finally managed to fell one with his pellet gun. And sure enough, his grandmother paid him a dollar.

The problem was he knew he’d never manage to kill another one. So, the next day, he fished the dead crow out of the garbage, showed it again to his grandmother, and earned himself another dollar. This went on for a week until that old crow smelled so bad that his grandmother figured it out. (Aww, shucks!)

He earned a lecture, but according to the culprit, Grandma had a twinkle in her eye and didn’t ask for her money back. Ha!

Another boy tells about the time they had to dissect fetal pigs in biology class. He and his buddies absconded with the snout of a pig and wedged it onto the water fountain. When someone pushed the button, the water would shoot up out of the pig’s nostrils. Problem was, the thirsty student wouldn’t see the snout until they’d bent over, open-mouthed, for a drink. LOL. Is that just the grossest thing?

Another one that always gives me a chuckle is the group of boys who sat in a circle and spit at the ceiling. The object was to get their spit to stick up there, but of course, more often than not, it didn’t--which meant their spit landed on somebody else in the circle.

There was one fella, though, who was evidently quite the expert. He could make his spit stick every time. It would dangle up there for a good while until gravity had its way with it. Then, he’d open wide, catch, swallow and recycle. Ewwwwww!

I bought the book for “research purposes” but most of the anecdotes were so awful that I’m pretty sure my publisher wouldn’t let me incorporate any of them into my novels. Still, it’s always good to study your subjects. :)

Now it's YOUR turn:

Do you have any little fellas in your past or present that do rascally things? Who are they? And feel free to share some of those things as long as you're not incriminating anyone. :)

Tiffany Amber Stockton has been crafting and embellishing stories since childhood. Today, she is an award-winning author and speaker who helps people look younger and live better by partnering with Nerium International. She lives with her husband and fellow author, Stuart Vaughn Stockton, in Colorado. They have one girl and one boy, and an Aussie/retriever mix named Roxie. She has sold fourteen books so far and is represented by Sandra Bishop of MacGregor Literary Agency. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.


  1. Oh Tiffany - that sounds like such a fun book!! I may have to get myself a copy :)

    I'm afraid I don't have any personal anecdotes to share though...

    1. Winnie, it's fun indeed, and it makes me appreciate my mischievous brothers that much more, as they pale in comparison to some of the stories in this book.

  2. I have to say the gross factor was pretty high in those stories. lol I was never a girlie girl, but more of a tomboy. I grew up on a farm. On butchering day many in the family would get together to help out. I recall joining the boy cousins to chase the girls cousins with the tails from the butchered pigs. Those girls always screamed and ran so it was great fun. Thanks for sharing Tiffany.

    1. Lol, Nancy! I would've likely joined you and the boys as well. Definitely a tomboy and not a girlie-girl who screamed or even attempted to be prissy when I was younger. Though, when the situation warranted it, I could be feminine and elegant with the best of them! :)